College Parent Central Podcast
You don’t stop parenting the day you drop your student off to college on Move-in Day. Your role simply changes. (Actually, it’s not simple at all, but it changes.) You’re a parent for life. Join Lynn Abrahams and Vicki Nelson, higher education professionals and former college parents, as they explore the topics that can help you be a more effective and supportive parent to your college bound student. Whether you already have a child in college, college is still a year or more away, or your student is about to step out, start now to gather the information that empowers you to be an effective college success coach to your student.
College Parent Central Podcast
#152 - Spring Semester - What's on your Student's Mind?
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After all of the transitions during fall semester (even for upper class students) students, and their parents, often assume it will be easy to navigate spring semester. Even if there are a few more transitions settling in at the beginning of second semester, the rest should be smooth sailing. In this podcast, Vicki and Lynn explore some of the things that are on students’ minds during this semester. It’s packed with choices that will shape the next year – housing, course registration, spring break, and summer decisions lead the list. Understanding what’s on your student’s mind and remaining a calm presence means you can ask curious questions, point to campus resources, and resist catching the overwhelm they may be feeling.
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Welcome to the College Parent Central Podcast. Whether your child is just beginning the college admission process or is already in college, this podcast is for you. You'll find food for thought and information about college and about navigating that delicate balance of guidance, involvement, and knowing when to get out of the way. Join your hosts, Vicki Nelson and Lynn Abrahams, as they share support and a celebration of the amazing experience of having a child in college.
SPEAKER_01Welcome back to the College Parent Central podcast. We are here and ready to talk about just about anything that has to do with being the parent of a college student, being the parent of a high school student, getting ready for college, and sometimes being the parent of a student who is stepping out sideways out of college or stepping out at the end of college to a career. Just about everything along that spectrum we like to talk about. My name is Vicki Nelson, and I am here with my co-host Lynn Abrahams. And we have a topic we are, it's one of those topics that we're going to talk about today that we said this is going to be short. We're not going to have much to say until we started to really think about what we have to say.
SPEAKER_02We have a lot to say.
SPEAKER_01I am here as uh both a college professor and as the parent of three girls who have all finished college. So I've experienced um being a parent, and I also see college students every day. And I know um Lynn has some credentials too.
SPEAKER_02Um I also come um with experience working with lots of college students who have learning differences and working with their families as well. Um so that's one side of it, but the other side is that I'm a mom of two sons who have, you know, come in and out and around and through college. So I kind of blend together those two sides.
SPEAKER_01So um the topic that we wanted to talk about today, we said, you know, it's it it's spring semester. Um, and we did an earlier podcast, um, which we'll link to in the show notes, which is really about the transition to second semester that a lot of people don't think about. Um, but once once students have transitioned into that second semester and and figured things out, it seems as though there's a lot going on in spring. And so, depending on where your student is along the spectrum, if you have a high school student, high school senior uh in spring semester, uh obviously there's a lot going on. There, it's all about admissions, it's about waiting for the letter, getting the letter, making a decision. Um, and then there are all those wonderful senior activities that are going on. There's a lot of emotion about heading to college. Uh, there's a lot of emotion about leaving your friends. Students need to try to keep their grades up so um the college will still want them by the time they finish spring. Um, so there's a lot going on because of that transition. If you have a college senior, there's also a lot of transition going on. Um, they're trying to finish successfully, they're probably looking for a job, um, they're emotional about losing, leaving and possibly losing friends. Uh, they're graduating and commencements coming up. That's that's a lot going on. So for those two groups who are transitioning, we know there's a lot going on. But really, what we want to talk about today are the rest of the students. The students who are current first-year students, sophomores, and juniors. They don't have that big transition happening. It seems in some ways as though, okay, by spring semester, first, second, third year, you can just sort of settle in and relax a little bit, just focus on your studies and and and just keep moving along. But as we think about it, there's a lot on students' minds in spring semester that most of us may not realize. So knowing what's going on for your student is a big help and are things you may want to talk to them about. So we want to talk about those freshmen, sophomores, juniors, and what's on their mind in spring semester. And I think, Lynn, you wanted to jump in and start by sort of not just looking forward, but also looking backwards.
First-Year Wins And Setbacks
SPEAKER_02Right. Uh I think I'm thinking a little bit more about first-year students. Um, but uh some first-year students, well, first there's a there's a whole group of students who come into spring semester feeling good because they made it through their first semester and they feel some confidence. I remember, you know, working with a lot of students who came in and said, wow, I can do it, I can do college. And so it can be um can be exciting to step into that spring semester. And then there are students who have struggled a bit in their first semester academically. And so they're coming into spring a little more exhausted, and they're coming in um perhaps with a need to get a little more support. Okay. So if you're if your um student you know struggled first term, you want to have a conversation with them about you know, what do you need to do to make this semester better? Spring term often has more challenging courses, but you're not in the very, very first round. Um, so it's a little more academically challenging. Um, and um, you know, I always think of the fact that our students um are still growing, you know, executive function skills are still um growing at that point. So so you know, this is a time of of um of uh of growth. Um so academically there might be some changes that need to be made. There are also students who come into spring term um having some social struggles. And um I I find that many students make friends very quickly in their first semester. Um they kind of nab on, you know, they they bond with the people who are right around them.
SPEAKER_01So they have friends of convenience right there at the beginning.
SPEAKER_02Exactly. And and um sometimes by the end of first semester they realize that this may not be a good a good plan. And maybe in the spring it's time to reach out to other kids and other um opportunities to meet new friends. Um so that could also be a part of what's happening in the spring.
Rechecking Resolutions And Considering Transfer
SPEAKER_01So, you know, as you're mentioning a lot of those things, it makes me think a lot of those are things students think about as they transition into this second semester. But for parents, um, especially if you happen to be listening to this podcast in real time, I know a lot of people listen to them later, but it's now uh toward the end of February. And it may be time to revisit some of those things because much like many New Year's resolutions, we make them in January and then they're gone by February. It's time to rethink them again a little bit later. So students may have you know started out the semester with good intentions, but but now as they move into spring, it may be time to rethink a little bit of those things. How's it working out? Right. You know, another thing that I think students, especially those first-year students and sometimes sophomores, sophomores um at this point are thinking about, and that's transfer. Um, you know, they're thinking, yeah, was this, you know, the right place? Maybe the things I thought were going to be important to me when I was in high school looking at college aren't, um, or things just haven't fallen into place for me. Um, and many, many students at this point are trying to make a decision about whether to transfer. And from what I've heard from from a lot of students, um, a lot of them think about it, only some of them do. And some do transfer, but others just the process of thinking about transfer helps them solidify no, this really is the right place where I want to be. Um, but knowing that, you know, if we're thinking in terms of what's on your students' mind during this second semester, um, for many students, it's am I where I want to be? And and is should I make a change?
SPEAKER_02And I think it's important for parents to to see that that's so common. It is so common for students to go through that process of thinking about yeah, and and to help them think through.
Spring Break Choices And Risks
SPEAKER_01Um, we I I think we did an earlier podcast on transfer. Um, not we're over a hundred topics. We're over 150 episodes at this point. I can't remember every single one. Um, but I think we did, and we'll put it in the show notes. Um, actually, you know what? We did. I just made myself a little note. It's episode 30. That's why it was way back then. Um, thinking about transfer and some kinds of questions to ask your student to help them think through whether or not. Um, but it's definitely on their minds. Um, thinking a little more specifically about some some things. One of the things um in this first half of the first of the second, first half of the second semester um that many students are thinking about is spring break. And um for some parents that's a moment of fear, you know, what is my student going to do? Um, and students deciding uh what they're going to do for spring break. And some students are just gonna go home and crash um because that's what they need. They need some rest and relaxation. Some students come home and um decide that that they're going to work. Maybe they've had a home job that they were able to pick up over winter break, and now they can work while they're home and um get a little cash. Some students decide they're going to travel. Um I I know one of my daughters, when she was in college, had friends who were studying abroad, and so she used spring break to go visit them for a week wherever in the world they happen to be. Um, and then of course, some students decide to do what is so legendary of spring break, of all these places where students go where it's warm and they party. Um, and that prompts some conversations probably with with your student. But they're really thinking, you know, having to think about what am I going to do for spring break? Am I going to travel? Am I going to, if I'm going to travel, how much is it going to cost? And am I going to be able to afford it? And um, am I going to party and what's involved with that? Am I going to just go home? Am I going to what's it going to be like when I go home? And um, so there's a lot that goes on in thinking about spring break. It takes a lot of brain space.
SPEAKER_02Some students need to go home and do nothing. I mean, I think that's, you know, some students are really exhausted by by college, um, and that's a possibility. Yeah. Um, and then there's some students who really do need stimulation, they really need to do something else. And I know that there are a lot of alternative programs, spring break programs that are set up through the college, colleges and universities.
SPEAKER_01And they actually call them alternative spring break.
SPEAKER_02Right. And they might be some kind of organized volunteer work um in some place, who knows where. There, it might be um, I know a lot of students who have done Habitat for Humanity, and they, you know, have helped people building homes. Um, I know that, you know, there's a lot of organizations that have um have programs, United Way, Global Citizens Network. I mean, there are a lot of places you can do some research, and your student is going to want to figure that out. It's a little complicated, but you know, they if they know they need to be stimulated, they're gonna want to find something to do.
Alternative Spring Break And Service
Housing Decisions And Anxiety
SPEAKER_01And many colleges, I know ours does, actually run an alternative spring break. So they students can sign up, it they take a group of, you know, usually 10 to 20. It's not a big group, 10 to 20 students. It's often habitat for humanity. But um, you know, they travel somewhere, they stay there, they stay as a group, they spend their days working on building a house or you know, helping out. I after Katrina, a lot of groups went down to New Orleans to help down there. Um, and it it becomes a bonding exercise for those students, you know, from the and it's organized by the school with chaperones from the school and and all of that. So students can find something on their own or they can, you know, see if there's something that they're um that their college is running. So another thing that students definitely have on their minds during spring is housing, and it's housing for fall. Um, and there are a couple of things that weigh heavily um and cause some anxiety in some cases. The first is some students are thinking about moving off campus. Maybe they've been living in the residence hall, maybe for first year, maybe for a couple of years, maybe for three years, um, and they decide they want to move off campus. They want to have an apartment and live on their own. Um, that's definitely a conversation to have with your student if they're thinking about it and to think about the realities of it and what's it going to cost, and how are you gonna manage this, and how what transportation, all kinds of things to think about. Um, but the time that students have to think about it really is during the spring. So while they're trying to maintain their grades and their classes, they have all these things going on. Um, because if students are going to move off campus, they can't wait until August to try to find a place to live. So they're making those decisions. But then, even for the students who are going to live on campus, it would seem that would be simple. But I think one of the most anxiety-producing events that I see of our students on campus is what they call the housing lottery, um, where students are assigned a number, often by class. You know, the juniors go first and then the sophomores and then the first year students. And it's like a lottery, a drawing. And then they go in by number, it's all online now, but um, to choose which dorm and which room they're going to live in. And they have to find, you know, if if we're going to, if I'm going to try to live in a suite, which a lot of students like to do, three or four rooms, usually with a common room and a and a bathroom or a couple of bathrooms, they've got to find six people, maybe, you know, two three rooms of roommates or something. They've got to find a group, and we all are going to, but we've got to have a high enough number that we can get this room. And if we don't get this room, then where are we going to go? And what are we going to do? And everybody wants this dorm. And um, students get so anxious and very so worried about this. And they have to have their housing deposit made before they can get a number to be part of the lottery. So they want to be with their friends, they want to be in these coveted spaces. Um, it may be a totally random thing, it may be totally random by class. Some schools do kind of earned points things, like if you have a certain GPA, you earn some points, or if you are a leader of a club, you earn some points, or whatever that moves you a little higher up the ladder. Different schools do it differently, but it's a very anxiety-producing thing. I know one of the things, one of my daughters at the school she went to, the senior class was always trying to raise money for events for this end-of-year thing. And one of the things the college gave that, gave the senior class the number one in the lottery to raffle off. And it was huge that you know, the all the underclassmen were trying to be in this raffle to get housing number one in the lottery, which meant you had your pick of anywhere on campus. Um, and it was a really big deal. Just so happened my daughter caught it. Oh my goodness. She and her roommate had their first choice of room on the campus, which is a lot of fun. Um, but it's an anxious time, and I think you know, we've got to remember that that's going on for our kids.
SPEAKER_02You know, there's so much planning ahead that goes on.
SPEAKER_01There is.
SPEAKER_02And I think we don't realize that like during a spring semester, all of this is happening. Um, I know in the second half of spring semester, students are starting to um register for fall. Yeah. And so then they have to think about um, you know, what what classes they're gonna take, what electives are they gonna take, what's required, what's only offered in the fall and not the spring. Um if students are um sophomores, or at least at our school, they need to make a decision about their major.
SPEAKER_01I think that's true in many places. End of sophomore year.
SPEAKER_02And that can be a difficult decision.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um, and I think, you know, as parents, it's good for us to know what's what they're going through. Not not that we can nag them about it, but that we can be in the background and and you know, maybe ask a few questions about what's what's happening and where they could get some help and making some of these decisions. And, you know, have you talked to your advisor? And uh, you know, that that kind of thing.
Course Registration And Choosing A Major
SPEAKER_01I think sometimes we can be the calming influence. You know, the students get so anxious about housing and anxious about their classes for next year, and and it's not only figuring it out, but then will I get in it? You know, I really want this class, but will it fill before I get a chance to register? Because again, it's by class. So, you know, but in spring semester, the seniors are out, you know, they they're not registering for fall. So that's good. Everybody moves up the ladder a little bit, but juniors go first and then sophomores and then the first year students. So they're anxious about not just not only figuring out what do I need, but will I be able to get what I need?
SPEAKER_02You know, and you're right, Vicki, to bring up our role as calming influences, you know, that so that we could say, it's gonna work out, you know, it's gonna be okay. The sky's not gonna fall in on you. Um, this is part of what happens, this is part of the pro of being a college student, and it's it's gonna be okay.
SPEAKER_01And it it's very easy for us to get caught up in their anxiety, exactly. Yeah, right. They they're in a panic over this thing or that thing, and it's sometimes it's contagious.
SPEAKER_02It does not help if we get panicky too, right?
Internships, Campus Jobs, And Leadership
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So thinking about fall, and there's all of that academic stuff and the classes and everything, there are there are some other things that they need to be thinking about in in spring, um, to be in a good place for fall. Um students may be thinking they would like to be doing an internship in the fall and waiting until summer to try to find it doesn't often work very well. Um, a lot of places, especially those um, you know, those more competitive places, some of those internships there taking applications and maybe having interviews and all right now. So, in addition to thinking about their classes, if they want to do an internship, they may be thinking about that. Some of the jobs on campus, uh especially some of the coveted jobs that seniors might have now, and seniors are graduating. Um, students might be Thinking about, you know, do I can I line up so that I can get this job on campus for fall and be thinking about that. Um, things about clubs, a lot of students are in activities and clubs and student government, um, and they often have elections in the spring so that there will be people in place to start the fall. Some may wait till fall, um, but there may be things on campus that they're thinking in terms of leadership. Um, and then there are things like orientation leaders who work in the summer, they're taking applications right now so that they can be training their OLs during the spring. Um, resident assistants, the students who who are in charge of the dorms and work there, they're taking applications now so they can line up their people. Um, in some schools that have teaching assistants, uh, undergraduate teaching assistants, maybe um, you know, faculty may be reaching out to students now to see. So so they're thinking about all of those things that aren't going to happen until six months from now. But they need to be thinking about them. And sometimes it's the students. Some of the students who aren't thinking about these things right now are the ones who are uh sometimes taken by surprise and definitely disappointed in the fall when they come back and they say, Okay, now I'm going to look for an on-campus job that I want, and they're all taken. There are some schools that that make you wait. There are some schools that say, no, we're we'll we'll do that in the fall, but some may be planning ahead. So staying on top of it's important.
SPEAKER_02There again, there's so much planning ahead that goes on, and um and some of our students are just so consumed by what they're doing because it takes a lot of energy um that it's hard to step back and sort of plan ahead. Um I know summer isn't you know, planning the summer, you know, are you going to work? Are you going to um are you going to do an internship? And I know internships, you have to, if you want to get college credit for the internship, that takes a little bit of planning. Um, sometimes you have to meet with a professor early, you have to map it out. You um so it it's it's something that needs some attention um if they want to do that, you know, yeah applying for jobs.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and and and making a decision, you know, do I want my summer to give me some good experience or do I want my summer to be about making money?
SPEAKER_02Do I need that? Yeah sometimes.
Planning Summer Work Or Credit
SPEAKER_01Yeah, to be yeah, not just because I want more money to you know to go on vacation, but many students need to work all summer because that's the money they live on the rest of the year. So some students that's that's a really tough decision. I need to work, I need to have to be able to make some money, but I I really want to have this experience because that's going to look good on my resume. And so um, so so making decisions about summer for some students is tough and needs to be dealt with now, not gee, when I get home at the end of the semester, I'll start to think about that. And then the other thing, um, and we are almost at the end of this list, believe it or not. Um we don't want to make you more anxious. Yeah. Um, the other thing is making decisions about summer classes. Um, because sometimes, you know, at the time that students are registering, which often is late March or so, in a lot of places, it's different everywhere, um, is also a time that they might register for summer classes. So do I want to take a class in the summer? Do I need to make up some credits that I, you know, maybe I withdrew from something or I failed something? Do I, you know, should I take a class in the summer? Do I want to take summer classes to get ahead so that I'll have a little leeway, a little extra? Um, do I want to take a class in the summer because um that's a particularly hard class and it's going to be easier for me if if all I have to focus on is that class and not try to have it be one of five that I'm juggling. Um, there are a lot of reasons students might take summer classes, and then they have to find out what's available. They have to think about am I going to take it at my homeschool or am I going to take it at a school close to my home?
SPEAKER_02And does it transfer?
Summer Classes And Transfer Credits
SPEAKER_01And does it transfer? Yes. You have to find that out before you take the class and then find out your college is not going to accept it. Um, and you know, is it available online? Is is it, do I want to take an online class or am I better off in uh in in-person classes? There are lots of decisions to think about just in terms of summer classes. Um, especially for, I think for students who are first-year students who are fresh out of high school. I think a lot of times, you know, in elementary school, middle school, high school, summer school was just for the kids who failed, just for the kids who, you know, needed needed extra because they weren't doing well. And yes, there is some of that with with summer classes in college, but it it's very different. All kinds of students take all kinds of things, and they take them at their homeschool or they get permission to take them somewhere else. Um, they're online, they're in person, um, and they serve a lot of purposes. But the time middle-ish of spring semester is when some of those decisions need to be need to be made.
SPEAKER_02So we hope we're not overwhelming you with all of these things that are going on in spring. But the idea here is that the more information you have as a parent, maybe the less anxious you can be. And you can step back and know that this is going on and support your kids as they go through it.
Parents As Calming Guides And Resources
SPEAKER_01I think that support is really an important word because I I that was what was at in the back of our minds as we were thinking about this this topic for this episode, is uh just understanding how much is on students' minds during this spring semester. Not every student is going to be thinking about every one of the, what was it, nine things we mentioned, but many of them are going to be thinking about many of them. And especially if your student is away at school and not living under your roof anymore. If they're living at home, sometimes you're a little more aware of some of what's going on. Sometimes not. It doesn't mean they come home and talk about everything all the time. But especially if your student is away, you may not realize that this is not a simple, straightforward, calming semester. Um, in some ways, there's more turmoil going on in this semester than in the fall because they've got lots to think about. So being in the middle, first-year students moving up to sophomores, sophomores moving up to juniors, juniors moving up to seniors, um, there's a lot on their minds, and it's a busy spring semester. And um yeah, as parents, we need to uh we need to help them out a little bit sometimes by just saying it will work out. That's fine. Or who can you talk to about that?
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_01Who on campus can help you with that?
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_01So think about that and uh have some good conversations with your students. Thanks for joining us for this episode. We will put a lot of these things in the show notes. Um, we have some other podcast episodes that relate to this, and there are some articles on the College Parent Central website about a lot of these topics. So you can get lots more information if you want to through follow through a little more with some of the details of all of these. Thanks for sticking with us to the end, and we'll see you next time. Bye bye.