College Parent Central Podcast
You don’t stop parenting the day you drop your student off to college on Move-in Day. Your role simply changes. (Actually, it’s not simple at all, but it changes.) You’re a parent for life. Join Lynn Abrahams and Vicki Nelson, higher education professionals and former college parents, as they explore the topics that can help you be a more effective and supportive parent to your college bound student. Whether you already have a child in college, college is still a year or more away, or your student is about to step out, start now to gather the information that empowers you to be an effective college success coach to your student.
College Parent Central Podcast
#141 So Much Campus Support for Your Student
Sending your child to college triggers that universal parental worry: who will take care of my student when I’m not there? As parents shift from caretaking to coaching, it's natural to wonder who fills that support gap on campus. The good news? Your student is surrounded by more help than either of you might realize. In this episode, Vicki and Lynn unpack the comprehensive support network that exists on every campus. From academic advisors who serve as mentors to professors who welcome student visits during office hours, your student has academic champions ready to guide them. Beyond these formal structures, we reveal the often-overlooked supports: residence hall staff who create safe living environments, academic success centers that boost learning strategies, and even campus workers like dining hall employees who often know students by name. We also remind you that parents remain a steady presence, helping your student recognize when to seek help and from whom. ." By understanding this support ecosystem, you can help your student navigate their college years with confidence, knowing they're surrounded by people who care about their success.
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Welcome to the College Parent Central podcast. Whether your child is just beginning the college admission process or is already in college, this podcast is for you. You'll find food for thought and information about college and about navigating that delicate balance of guidance, involvement and knowing when to get out of the way. Join your hosts, vicki Nelson and Lynn Abrahams, as they share support and a celebration of the amazing child in college.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the College Parent Central podcast. This is the place where we talk about so many things connected to parenting our kids as they make the shift from high school to college and parenting through those college years. Let me start just by introducing ourselves. My name is Lynn Abrahams. I have worked pretty much my whole career with college students who have diagnosed learning disabilities, learning differences, and so I've worked closely with with students and their families. I'm also a mom of two sons who have been in and through and around college, so I can speak about those stories as well.
Speaker 3:I'm here with my good friend and colleague and I am Vicki Nelson and I'll do it in reverse. I am also the parent, but I have the girls, lynn has the gentlemen, I have the ladies and they have gone to college and come out the other side as well. And so I've experienced college parenting three times and it was different with everyone. And I am also a college professor of communication, so I meet with students every day in the classroom and as an academic advisor and working with students. So we both have had the opportunity of being parents and also seeing other students and seeing what works and what they struggle with and all and thinking a lot about how those two things fit together the parenting of those students. So here we are to talk about that. And we have a topic we wanted to talk about today.
Speaker 3:Is that concern that we have as parents and I think it's pretty universal when we're sending our student off to college for the first time, there is that nagging thing of who's going to take care of my student. I've been here as the parent. We talk about moving from caretaking to coaching and the parents' role shifts. But if you shift from caretaking to coaching, sometimes you worry about who's going to take over the caretaking part. And who's going to take care of my student. I'll be all alone there at school. That occur to us and that we wanted to talk a little bit about is how many people there are on campus that are there to connect with and support and take care of your student. And so I think we have a sort of a dual idea in mind with today's podcast, and one is to reassure you as a parent, that there are people who are on campus ready to take care of your student and we'll talk about who some of those people are but then also for you to be able to pass that information on to your student so that they know they have this web of support out there and where the places are that they can go Absolutely. So that's what we want to talk about, and these are in no particular order other than the random order. We thought of them, and so I'll go first and I'll start, and I'll start with the beginning of the alphabet. Again, it's totally random, but that is the student's academic advisor.
Speaker 3:And at college most colleges nothing is universal, but at most colleges, students, when they arrive, are assigned an academic advisor. That might be a faculty member, it might be a staff member in an advising office, but it's someone. It's the student's go-to person. It's the person who's assigned and their job is to help that student navigate the curriculum, navigate courses, navigate course selection. But also the person who can give advice and is an advisor about the major, about the curriculum, but also just generally. A student has a question, doesn't know where to go, what to do. Their academic advisor is a person who really gets to know them one-on-one, depending on the school the advisor might have. If it's a professional advisor, they might have a lot of assigned advisees, but often if it's a faculty advisor or in some other systems I know I'm a faculty advisor I have currently 21 advisees and that's a lot for our school it's usually more like 15 to 18. So there's really an opportunity for that advisor to serve as a mentor and to be there for your student.
Speaker 2:You know, I had the experience of doing some advising in the summer for a few years and I found that, first of all, I was often, in that role, the first faculty member a student met, so I could let them know that we weren't going to be scary, we weren't going to you know, so that's. And then, because I was the first person they met, they came back and asked me questions.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Because I felt, you know, it felt safe for them because they already met me. So that relationship can often be like the person that your student will continue to go to. I saw students even when they were not my advisor anymore. I always told people to stop by my office, and so it can be that person.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and the advisor can also be the person who can pave the way for them with someone else. Let me walk you to this person's office, or I'll send this person an email and let them know you're coming, or something like that, so it can be a doorway as well.
Speaker 2:Right. So that connects with the next person on campus who's who's played such an important role, and that's the professors. As a professor, I agree yes, we're very important, very important, but often we are the people, as professors, who see the student when there's something going on. We're the ones that get our eyes on the student and see if there's something worrisome or if they're looking good, so it's often the most important person on campus. Plus, if students are figuring out their major, if they're figuring out what they want to be doing in years, if they have questions about the campus, the professors would love to answer questions usually, and you know that's an important person to go to to talk, we like to talk about what we do.
Speaker 3:I mean, most of us are in a field because we love the field, and when a student comes and says I'm interested in the thing you're teaching and that you're doing, just have a seat and let me tell you about it because we like to do that and you know I would add one possible.
Speaker 3:I mean you can always make an appointment with a professor, but one possible time to do that is office hours, and I think parents could help students understand that office hours mean this is the time I'm in my office and available to you. This is the time you know to stop by. This is the you. This is the time I'm, you know to stop by. This is the you know. Lynn, you talked about, you know I had students who would just stop by my office. That's what we want them to do. Sometimes students think office hours means this is the time the professor wants to be working on their things and don't bother them. It's exactly the opposite of what it is so often. You know, as faculty, many of us complain a lot that students don't use office hours. I'm there to go over material with you, to answer questions, to just talk to you, to tell you about what I do, yeah, and to make that contact.
Speaker 2:And I just want to add a reminder that the office hours are for the students and not for the parents. Yes, office hours are for the students and not for the parents. Yes, so often when you do call a professor, they're not going to be able to tell you much information, and the role of being a parent is to step aside and encourage your student to make an appointment with a professor.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and maybe help your student anticipate that appointment. You know, what should you take with you. What kinds of questions will you ask so that it I don't know why we all seem so scary to students, but they are nervous about that sort of thing. So parents can help them understand what's going to happen and almost practice a little bit, for an appointment, and how to reach out too is another piece.
Speaker 2:I did get emails in the past saying, hey, prof you know, hey, prof, but you know sort of the professional way to reach out, To write an email.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, we can list in the show notes. I think we have a couple of earlier podcasts where we did a little bit of ranting about some of those things. But it means that the student who writes me a nice polished email dear Professor Nelson, my name is and I'm in your 1030 communication class and I have a question and all of that that's the standout student. I, you know, I really appreciate that sort of thing.
Speaker 3:All right, I want to go on to another one, and this one's a little more formal and that would be, for some students, the counseling center. Just about every school has a counseling center where students can go and talk to someone about whatever is on their mind, and often, especially for new college students, I think it's anxiety and stress and some of those things. I think most of the time counseling centers ask students to make appointments unless it's an emergency, and there are times, and there have been times when I've met with a student ask students to make appointments unless it's an emergency, you know, and there are times and there have been times when I've met with a student said I think you need to talk to someone in the counseling center.
Speaker 2:Let me walk you over, yeah.
Speaker 3:I have to yeah and so, but they may have to make an appointment and sometimes they may have to wait a little bit for an appointment. Mental health is a huge issue. We have a couple of podcasts about that and we'll share those in the show notes, and so counseling centers are busy and so sometimes students may have to wait just a little bit. But they'll have an opportunity to someone who's trained as a psychologist to work with them and talk with them and help them, and usually the people who work in college counseling centers are trained in the struggles that college students have. It's a specialized sort of thing, so it's really great and students should take advantage.
Speaker 2:And remind your student that it's confidential when you speak to a counselor, you, counselor. It's just between them and the counselor.
Speaker 3:Yep, that's covered by HIPAA.
Speaker 2:So that's really important and really all colleges and universities have some sort of counseling center and they advertise how to reach them. So that's really important and that connects with the next one, which is the health center. Some counseling centers are in the health center.
Speaker 2:I mean it depends on you know the different schools. But, um, it's really good when students get on campus, when they take their first walk around and figure out where things are, to know where the health center is. I know that when my kids first went to college the first time my son Josh got sick, he called me.
Speaker 2:And I had to tell him that his next step was to call the health center and make an appointment and get a strep test or whatever it was, or get a COVID test. So students need to start getting comfortable with the fact that it's their responsibility to reach out to the health center and all colleges and universities have some sort of medical support for students.
Speaker 3:And they may have a walk-in health center. Maybe they can just walk in, but they may have to call and make an appointment. So, ahead of time, parents can talk to students about how to make an appointment. What are they going to ask me? What do I need?
Speaker 2:You might need your health card, your health insurance card, or whatever, and folks in a health center are usually very they're particularly good at working with first-year students.
Speaker 3:They know that first-year students need a little more support and they're used to first-year students coming in and, like the people in the counseling center, they're used to the kinds of things that college students are apt to come with questions about. We have an episode on. Are apt to come with questions about.
Speaker 2:We have an episode on let's see a book about health for college students?
Speaker 3:Yes, Dr Jill Grimes' book.
Speaker 2:Great.
Speaker 3:Yes, so we're just going to link to episode episode, episode after this. Yeah, that's a good one. So counseling centers and health centers. Thinking a little more about academics, many colleges have something called a success center or an academic center, academic support center, something of that nature. You know, at our school it's called the Office of Advising and Academic Success, so they've combined those things there and academic success. So they've combined those things there. But the staff members there are usually the ones who can work particularly with students who are struggling.
Speaker 3:Maybe a student and this wouldn't be a first semester student, but a student who's on probation, who is maybe a second semester student, who had a not successful first semester, is on academic warning or academic probation, and then they might have a success counselor who would meet with them even weekly to help them work on the time management skills or academic skills that they need. So it's worth investigating what. It's a little different. We'll talk about a tutoring center, but it's a little different. They're coordinators or counselors who work particularly with helping students with their academic struggles in navigating the soft skills that they need. Not tutoring them about a subject, but just helping them figure out what do they need to do, what are the strategies to succeed?
Speaker 2:And in some colleges professors may send out like an alert or something and the folks in the success office will get that, so they'll have a student on their radar if they're struggling.
Speaker 3:Yes, so hopefully the student will reach out if they know they need help. But they might hear from someone in the success center and then they should answer the call. They should go and see them, because they can do a lot to help them.
Speaker 2:You know, I think I want to jump down somewhere in our list. You're so rogue. I'm going to ruin the rhythm here, but I want to talk about the support center because that connects a little bit to it. I mean talk about writing support, math support, speaking support, tutoring for specific classes. Sometimes that might be in the same area as the advising success.
Speaker 2:And so, just to remind your student to check out what their college offers, most colleges have a writing center because most students struggle with writing, that's just you know. College writing is a whole different level than high school writing, so many colleges offer support there. There are some colleges that offer specific tutoring to students, and some of that might be online tutoring. Some of it might be with a professional. Some of it might be online tutoring, um. Some of it might be with a with a professional. Some of it might be peer tutoring, um, some colleges have particular math and science support. Um, so, um, there's always some academic support for your student, but it's on their shoulders to look for it. Um, had parents call me and say can you get my son to the writing center? And my advice would be you may want to bring that up with your son. I may bring it up, but I am not going to make anybody do anything at the college level. Students need to choose to do that. I may talk about what a wonderful center we have, but it's up to them.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And you know interestingly, a lot of times with a writing center and the writing center isn't just because I can't figure out how to write, but, you know, can you help help me edit? Can you help me polish? Yep, um, to take a, you know a b paper and make it an a paper, um, but I've noticed with both writing center and tutoring, often it's some of the best students who make the most use of it. Yes, so.
Speaker 3:So I think a message that that parents can give to their students is going to the tutoring center or the writing center, which is a kind of tutoring center, is not seen at all. It's different, I think, in high school, in college it is not seen as oh you know, you're a dumb student, you have to go to tutoring because you can't do it. It's the students who want to turn that B into an A, the students who would be crushed if they got an A so you know, it's viewed very differently. Its support there, you know, can you just help me? And the writing centers are great, they can help students brainstorm.
Speaker 3:They can help students brainstorm, they can help students polish their grammar, they can help students figure out how to organize the essay or the paper or whatever, and they're professionals who are ready to do that.
Speaker 2:And some colleges offer even a speaking center.
Speaker 3:Yes, a communicate? Yes, and we used to have one. We used to have one, a center where students can go, and it's the same sort of thing, but for oral presentations and practice organizing and then practice giving it and getting some feedback and videotaping analyzing.
Speaker 2:So lots of academic support.
Speaker 1:Support centers is good.
Speaker 3:So, all right, you're jumping around. I'm going to go back on this little list that we have and think non-academic for a little bit. Another one that it can be a really good support for a student could be a club advisor or someone in charge of an affinity group, and by affinity group, you know, it's sometimes, you know, like the Black Students Union or you know, the International Students Club or some group of some kind, and those advisors who work with those clubs, whether it's the ski club or the radio club or you know whatever and those affinity groups are really committed to those students who are part of it. So that can be a really good person that a student should feel comfortable talking to and going to. Just another piece of support there.
Speaker 2:We had somebody in our department who decided to do a video club. Like video games kind of thing. And for some of the students I worked with, that was their place of safety.
Speaker 3:That was their home, so that was important, and some of these groups and clubs have a literal home as well. They may have a space that's set aside for them, and in bigger universities it could even be a house. So so those are. Those are people who support too. I'm going to keep going.
Speaker 3:I want to do one more because it's similar and that's an, an athletic coach. So those students who are on teams go to those coaches all the time and and if your student did athletics in high school, you have some sense of how committed a coach is to his, his or her team members. Uh, and I would say it's even more so on the college level. You know they, they were the the students bond with each other, but they also really bond with the coach and the coach is really looking out for the students, their basic well-being, but also because the coach wants them to do well academically or they won't be allowed to play Right. So that's a good person.
Speaker 2:Really good, um, in the living situation, um, let's talk a little bit about that. Students have usually a community director, somebody who's in charge of the, the dorm, and then usually a resident assistant, sometimes for each floor. Those people are crucial, in particular the resident assistants, at least in our school. They're really well trained.
Speaker 3:Oh, I think most places they are.
Speaker 2:And they know the kind of issues that are going to come up. They are a student, it's a peer, it's somebody your student can go to with the questions that they think are dumb questions. They can usually have that person as a mentor.
Speaker 3:And that is also another person on the front lines that sees the student every day in their living situation and will be, you know, could, will be a you know, an early person who could spot a student who is struggling or having trouble or something like that. And the community director. So the, the ras are students well-trained students and the community directors are staff people, so they're trained on a different level in terms of taking care of students. So, yeah, that's a real important one. And then most campuses have a chaplain or some kind of campus ministry. A chaplain or some kind of campus ministry and if a student is involved in, well, even if they're not involved, anyone who is in the spiritual life office, whatever their title might be, is someone students can always feel that they can talk to and get all kinds of support.
Speaker 2:That's a wonderful resource. Here's a surprise kind of resource and that's public safety officers.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Sometimes public safety officers are the ones who are around campus. They're the ones you know. Students see them all the time. Sometimes they really reach out to students. I know I have had students who are majoring in criminal justice who do ride-arounds with the public safety officers, but it's usually a different kind of feeling than a police officer in a town or city. These are folks who are trained to work again.
Speaker 3:Work with college students yeah so it's um they can actually be a support yeah, some students get very have very close relationships with certain public safety officers because they see them all the time they're around um and and most of them, the officers, reach out and want to talk to students. The more they get to know people in the community, the more they are able to keep everybody safe.
Speaker 2:It's a small community policing.
Speaker 1:It's really interesting to see the bond sometimes with the public safety officers.
Speaker 3:And another one that I think is surprising, and it's a staff thing, and that is often the administrative assistants or secretaries that are in the various offices, because they're again, they're on the front line. If a student wants to, you know, make an appointment with the dean or something or has some business with the dean's office or the registrar's office or whatever, it's the person at that front desk often that they talk to and and all, and sometimes they make very, you know, they chat or whatever, and then they make very close relationships, especially a lot of these staff people that we're talking about. If your student has a job on campus, they'll really encounter some of these people. They may work side by side with the administrative assistant, or they may be the one who answers non-emergency phone calls in the public safety office. So you know, thinking about how they connect through their jobs as well.
Speaker 2:And often the administrative assistant in a particular major knows everything. Yes, like knows more than all the professors you know because they're sort of at the command desk you know, and so a good person for a student to get to know. Yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm going to. We've sort of said we're going to go back and forth but we're all way off from our plan. Anyway. I want to do the next one because I love this one. It's all of those campus workers. I mean, we talked about public safety and we talked about secretaries because they're kind of frontline, but it's all those other campus workers that are all around campus, that students. You never know what student is going to connect with what person. So it's the people who work in the library, the people who work at the front desk at the library and they encounter it could be the custodian that cleans the residence hall, and this really goes back. I remember as a first year student living in the residence hall on campus.
Speaker 2:This is you.
Speaker 3:This is me, so this is a year or two ago and two of the people we you know, a lot of us had great relationships with were the public safety officer who walked the hall at night. I don't know if they do it anymore, but we had somebody who just came through like one in the morning just to make sure everything was okay, and then the custodian that cleaned the hall and cleaned our bathrooms and did that, and we would see that person just about every single day and it was a great relationship and it was fun, and so it can be those public safety officers. It could be the custodian. The librarian Buildings and grounds are people who are around campus all the time and some students connect with the van or bus driver. Often, if there's a regular van or a bus that goes around campus or a shuttle that runs somewhere, um are other people, and then the other one are the food service the dining hall folks, the dining hall folks are
Speaker 3:amazing and really get to know. You know, sometimes get to know what kinds of food your student likes, or some. Sometimes we'll save a little something for somebody. We have one in our dining hall who's been there for years and everyone on campus knows her and I swear she knows every student's name. And they walk in the dining hall and it's a hi, lynn, how are you, how's it going? And I joke. And I told her I go to to commencement every year and year after year after year, in a student commencement speech where they're summing up their experiences at the college, her name gets brought up every year, after every year. So it's amazing those connections that they can make. Just a couple more.
Speaker 2:Let's see, it's your turn.
Speaker 3:What's more?
Speaker 2:Where are we?
Speaker 3:The student advocate.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 3:Oh, did I add that.
Speaker 2:I don't have that one.
Speaker 3:Okay, we're very organized here today folks.
Speaker 3:Okay, I have two more that I added after I sent the list to Lynn. Okay, and I apologize. One is a student advocate and not all schools have it, but and I apologize, one is a student advocate and not all schools have it, but some schools do have one with different titles, often in a dean's office or something, but it's someone who is just that. It's a person who will represent your student, or it's the kind of person your student goes to when they don't know who to go to.
Speaker 3:They don't want to go to their advisor, or it's not an academic thing, so they don't know who to go to. They don't want to go to their advisor, or it's not an academic thing, so they don't think they should go to their advisor. Maybe they're having a difficulty with a particular professor and they don't know how to deal with that.
Speaker 3:You know, maybe something happened, I don't know, it's worth checking. Some schools have someone, a student ombudsman or a student advocate or something like that. So we used to have one. I don't think we do anymore. And then the last thing I added we've talked about it, we've touched on it, and that is just peers. You know, students, friends first of all, can be a great support system. You talked about an RA and that's a peer thing. Peer tutors are great.
Speaker 3:Sometimes parents particularly, I think, when their student is being tutored say I want, you know, I want a professional tutor. I don't want a student tutoring. But sometimes students are best because they've been in the class and they know the subject, they know what the student's really going to have to learn. Professional tutors sometimes, because if I'm a professional math tutor, it's because math has always been easy for me and it might be hard for me to understand the student's struggles. And then some schools use teaching assistants. Those are students and the other one is a team captain. If your student is an athlete, the captain is usually someone on the team who is respected, has some leadership, has some experience and is a good person to go to. So it's a pretty comprehensive list of people who are there.
Speaker 2:So it's good to know, when you send your kids off, that there's probably more support than you realize. There's probably more support than your student realizes. I do want to have just say one reminder to parents, and that's that you still are a very important support to your students off campus. You are important support to your students off campus. You are, you know, incredibly important, but it is in a different way than you were in high school, so you know your job would be to remind your students that all these things are out there for them. Your job would be to, you know, to listen to what's going on, not necessarily fixing, but just listening. Listening. You know your kids best also, and so you may know where to help, guide them or support them to. You know where to go to get some help. So, even though your role is not to solve any problems, your role is still crucial and it's to be there to encourage your students to believe in them and know that they can do it.
Speaker 3:And help them believe in themselves Right and know that they can do it Right. That's such a that's such a good and important message for us as parents to hear. I wanted to add one note and I should have done it before you did that, because yours is such a good way to end, but one note that you might remind your student and hopefully they never need to know.
Speaker 3:But, that is, depending on what, why they're going to someone, why they need to talk to someone if it is something that involves criminal action, if it is something they want to talk to somebody because they've been assaulted, they've been sexually assaulted, they've been raped, they've been sexually harassed, threatened, something of that nature. What they need to remember is that most of the people not all most of the people we talked about are what we call mandatory reporters, and that means, if I'm an academic advisor, if a student comes to me and says something happened to me over the weekend and I want to talk to somebody about it and I want to tell you, but please don't tell anybody Before that student says anything, I need to say to that student. You need to understand I'm a mandatory reporter. If you're going to tell me about something, let's say sexual assault, I'm going to have to report that to the Title IX office.
Speaker 3:I'm required by law to do that and so, if it's something like that, go talk to the counseling center covered by HIPAA. They do not. The health center covered by HIPAA, they do not. And, depending on the state, the chaplain or campus ministry may or may not have to report, but all the rest of us are legally required to report. All the rest of us are legally required to report Now it's rare.
Speaker 3:Thank goodness it's rare that these things happen on campus, but it's important that students know you know I want to be there for them. But they have to know that if they tell me and I can help them through the process, then If you tell me that I can help you now, we'll figure out who we need to report to and I can, you know, be there to support you. But I think that's important.
Speaker 2:So there's all of our supports. Yes.
Speaker 3:And then just the reminder of what Lynn said before I jumped in with this downer about mandatory reporting, and that is parents. You're still so important in helping your students um figure out how they handle things and who can help them handle it. Um, with all this support there, and, uh, parents know that, you know, know that your, your kid, isn't there on their own. Yeah, college isn't an individual sport it's a team, group activity.
Speaker 3:So thanks for listening and being with us. We hope this was helpful. We're going to put a lot of links in the show notes of other episodes about a number of the things that we talked about, and if you know someone else who has a student going to college, headed to college soon or in college, share this with them and maybe it will be helpful to them too. Word of mouth is the greatest advertising we can get, so thanks a lot and we'll see you next time.
Speaker 2:See you later.